When someone says ‘Net Zero,’ what do you imagine?

Setting a net zero target is like promising to clean up a big mess without making more messes. Imagine your room is really messy, and you decide to clean it up completely by picking up all the cups, clothes, and things lying around. But, you also promise not to make it messy again by putting things away after using them.

So, in the big world sense, setting a net zero target means trying to balance out the stuff that’s bad for the environment, like pollution from cars and factories, by doing things that are good for the environment, like planting trees or using cleaner energy sources. The goal is to have no extra bad stuff left over that hurts the planet.

Imagine this scene:

It’s Black Friday at Media Markt in Alexanderplatz, and chaos has a new address.

A herd of people is running around the shop like headless chickens, grabbing whatever they can get. It’s a war scene. A TV set falls on someone’s head. He is seriously injured, lying on the floor. People jump over him to get to the Waffle Maker shelf. The 10 Euro Waffle Maker transports the shoppers into a seething sea of waffle-loving monsters. They’re ripping the shelves like it is feeding time at the zoo, holding as many as six waffle makers at a time. It’s like a mosh pit at a metal concert, but no one’s having a good time, and everyone hates each other. So far, 29 people have been injured, and one elderly woman is hospitalized.

Amidst the chaos, an unexpected character walks in. It’s none other than Albert Einstein, resurrected for a special Black Friday cameo. With wild hair and a mischievous grin, he scans the pandemonium.

Einstein clears his throat, capturing the attention of every shopper. “E=mc² may be the equation of the universe, but today, it stands for ‘Every appliance = my chaos².’ Let’s rethink this, my friends. Is a discounted blender really worth sacrificing your dignity for?”

The entire store freezes. Shoppers exchange perplexed glances as if an alien just spoke fluent waffle maker. The waffle frenzy pauses, and for a moment, it’s as if time itself is reevaluating its choices.

What happens next? Your turn to decide! Share your absurd comedy short story with us. You can submit it here. We will publish it here, on our website. Let’s turn this Black Friday madness into a tale of cosmic hilarity.  

The Wild Rollercoaster of Consumerism

Black Friday. It’s the shopping Olympics, and we’re all in the running, elbowing each other for the gold medal of discounted appliances. Ever felt like you’re part of an epic battle, Hunger Games style, just to snag a flat-screen TV? Newsflash: You’re not Katniss, and that TV won’t magically transform your life.

Let’s chat about those so-called “discounts.” Spoiler alert: They’re about as real as a unicorn doing your taxes. It’s like putting lipstick on a pig—sure, it looks fancier, but at the end of the day, it’s still a pig. So, that flashy “discounted” toaster might not be the life-changer you thought.

Now, let’s talk about the peak of greed on Black Friday—it’s on expert mode. We go from appreciating what we have on Thanksgiving to treating the shopping aisles like the Hunger Games arena. But here’s a wild idea: What if we’re better than this? What if we break free from the cycle of chaos and find sanity in avoiding the Black Friday stampede?

This Black Friday, let’s rebel against the shopping madness. Take a step back from the chaos, save your sanity like it’s the last piece of chocolate in the store, and maybe—just maybe—save our dear planet Earth from unnecessary shopping sprees. 

Because, let’s be real, Earth deserves better than becoming a casualty in the war for a discounted blender. It’s time to be the hero that our planet needs—say no to unnecessary purchases, break free from the Black Friday frenzy, and savour the joy of a clutter-free home.

In the end, the real victory isn’t in the number of shopping bags you carry; it’s in the laughter shared with loved ones and the memories made without the looming shadow of consumer chaos. So, this Black Friday, join the rebellion, be the change, and let’s make our planet proud. Who knew saving the world could be as simple as resisting the urge to buy that overpriced toaster? Happy (and sane) Black Friday, everyone!